As I Stood Over the Bowl

Reflections of Me

I am a Korean New Zealander. I have spent the first half of my life in Korea and the other half, including my adolescent years, in New Zealand. I speak both languages fluently, and English like any other Kiwi with no detectable Korean accent. I don’t look typically Korean because of the way I do my make-up. My social circle consists mainly of caucasian friends. All of this translated to a state where I have felt for the longest time, that I did not fit into either of the cultures. I could see that a bicultural space existed, but that sphere was complex and diverse in its own right.  I could not find a significant community of people who I shared my life experiences with. I visualised myself floating above cultural boundaries, in a grey, murky space where I could not see anyone else.

Then I found something. The first time I felt a genuine sense of belonging was when I stumbled across Audrey Magazine earlier this year, a US publication written from the perspective of Asian American women. Now, I had mixed feelings about this; on one hand, I felt like a stranded wonderer in the desert who had finally found an oasis. Like that scene from Disney’s Prince of Egypt (1998) where the Hebrews finally get to the Promised Land after the hellfire they’ve been through. That up-lifting gypsy-ish music takes over and everyone breaks out into bright sunshining smiles and all the adorable babies hug their goats (Needless to say, I’ve watched this movie several hundred times throughout my childhood). On the other hand, I had this sense of confusion and anger as to why it took so long for me to feel this way. Feelings aside, I saw women who looked like me on the cover of magazines, sharing their stories that did nothing short of speaking directly to my heart. I felt my eyes filling with tears but an epic set of Sandra Oh’s photographs firmly asked, ‘ Would Christina Yang cry?’ Of course she wouldn’t. Instead, I indulged in their online content for hours and quietly embraced this calm euphoria rushing through my veins.

“The stories in Audrey help our readers navigate their identity, relate to other Asians, and feel connected to a community.We emphasize real and multifaceted portrayals of the modern Asian woman, ones that reflect the ethnic, cultural and generational diversity of this demographic.”

– Audrey Magazine

What I didn’t notice till this time was how infrequently Asian women are portrayed in mainstream media. It is an empowering and eye-opening process to see women similar to ourselves paint their unique identities in the space of popular culture. It began making sense why those countless pages in Cosmopolitan and Vogue never meant more to me than just pretty pictures. Whilst my friends rocked the magazines’ life-changing tips on how a bright blue eyeshadow can transform you into a fresh summer babe, I was desperately searching for the non-existent eyelid space the pictures were pointing to.

With this in mind, I share with you my muses for the week – Hana Kim and YoonJu Jang. Hana Kim is a LA-based independant singer songwriter. I found her through a documentary trailer on prostitution and sex-trafficking in Seoul, Save My Seoul. My favourite song of hers is titled Heaven Sees Me, heart-wrenchingly sung with her husky soulful voice, it powerfully expresses the voices of women unseen in commercial sex exploitation. Her Youtube channel can be found here.

Onto the next, YoonJu Jang is a Korean model who also sings and hosts Korea’s Next Top Model. What I love the most about Jang is her way with words. There are quotes that follow her photographs on her website. Perhaps it is the way the Korean language articulates her mind, or the geometrical shapes of how Korean is written but her simple words reflect a certain level of depth that draws me in.

“세상에는 정답이 없다. 난 나의 길을 갈 뿐이다.

어떤 방향을 제시하기 위해서라기보다 내가 갖고 있는 따뜻한 감성이나 밝은 에너지,

모델로서 훈련된 감각들, 그런 것들을 스스로 즐겁게 할 수 있고 나눌 수 있다면 소신껏 내 길을 가고 싶다.

“There are no answers in this world. I simply walk my path.

Not to carve out a certain direction, but to joyously express my warmness, my bright energy and my model-trained sensibility. If I am able to do these on my own and share it with the world, I walk my path with conviction.”

– YoonJu Jang from her 2013 Elle Shoot

YoonJu Jang, Korean Model and Singer, jangyoonju.com

Photo credit: YoonJu Jang via Google Images and jangyoonju.com

Live From Lombard by Mo Welch

‘Live from Lombard’, an Instagram cartoon series by Mo Welch

Slather some Beurre Noisette

Food – in order of photos ;

• Green smoothie and soft boiled egg breakfast – spinach, banana, kale, lemon, water, linseeds.
• Greek yogurt, banana, frozen berries, home-made chia jam and cinnamon -the unbelievable resolution quality of iphone 4S amazes me.
• Pork skewers and Wonton Noodle Soup from Delicious Link International Food Court – The skewers were so damn tasty ($5.90 for 3) and were from Viet Malay, the wonton soup… not great at all. The ambience here very much makes you feel like you’ve walked into some legit authentic Asian marketplace. No romance and glamour but you would feel comfortable eating here in your pyjamas which is what I precisely did.
• Dry vermouth – Orphan’s Kitchen in Ponsonby has an excellent drink list. Liquors on the rocks are served with giant tennis ball sized ice balls which I thought was pretty damn snazzy.
• Kimchi, silverbeet and sardine fried rice with melted cheese – BLOODY DELICIOUS. I used canned sardines in oil.
• Xi’an Style Spicy Pork Hand-Pulled Noodles and Lamb Soup  – I watched a youtube video of one of the New Yorker Chen’s from Off the Great Wall bang on about Xi’an Cuisine so when I saw Xi’an Food Bar on Anzac Avenue, I had to go try the food. Needlesstosay, absolutely delicious and budget friendly. My sister and I spent $25 NZD on two noodle dishes and a small soup. They have another branch in Balmoral on the North Shore.
• Dinner at Orphan’s Kitchen – I have mixed feelings about the food here. Their menu changes seasonally but you can get a brief idea of what they serve from this menu on Zomato. My friends and I shared the wagyu beef, rye gnocchi and buffalo balls between 3 people. It wasn’t filling but everything I ate was something new – which does not happen very often. The waiting staff were very friendly and had extensive knowledge about the food they were serving. The atmosphere was cosy and overall I had a great evening here. All the ingredients here were fresh and of very high quality for which I think is worth paying a good amount for. The food left me feeling curious and I will probably be back.
• Burnt brown butter from Orphan’s Kitchen – also known as Beurre Noisette. They served this before our meal arrived and holy macaroni. Rich, dark, caramel butter silkily gliding down your tongue while biting down on a warm piece of brown bread… You need to go try this.

Food, for the eyes ; 

• The original french manicure done right – sheer pink polish on well-groomed nails. No tacky white tips here (image credit ; @dreams_tms1).
• Auckland Downtown Britomart’s fairy light roof – what makes it fantastic is not really how it looks but how it makes you feel when you stand under it
• Sweater weather outfit – fashion Inspiration for general chic-ness,  @dreams_tms1 on instagram posts some pretty rad stuff (image credit ; @dreams_tms1)
• Rosie Fortescue’s beautiful face – it’s only appropriate to have at least one reference to Made in Chelsea, the greatest un-reality show on earth (image credit ; @rosiefortescue)

Food, for the soul ;

• Kiwiflies Travel Blog – My good friend Caro is travelling and documenting her time in beautiful photographs.  Her words are enjoyable to read with relevant, down-to-earth content for travellers backpacking across Europe.  She is currently in Morroco and the photos are phenomenal. Check out her blog here. (image credit; Kiwiflies.wordpress.com )

Venetian Dream – Food Cinematography

Venetian Dream | Food Cinematography

A summer’s evening under the Rialto bridge, the short captures a meal between two lovers. Focussing on the indulgent nature of each dish, the raw videography portrays the giddiness one feels from being in love and being full.

Buckwheat Pancakes

Something that I consider a by-product of my Korean upbringing is that I don’t have a sweet tooth. I do from time to time crave sweets and when I do, I tend towards natural and only mildly sweet fruits. Any component of this dish would be great for those trying to balance out their candida whilst trying to curb their sugar cravings. I make my buckwheat pancakes at the beginning of the week and use it as a bread substitute. They’re fluffy and have a great earthy flavour. For this particular dish, I warmed up my pancake in the microwave for a few seconds, poured warm coconut milk on top, topped it with homemade chia jam and sprinkled Lindt 90% dark chocolate. Some extra cinnamon would have gone nicely too. Bon appetit

Buckwheat pancakes

Makes 8-10 small pancakes

• 1 cup of buckwheat
• 1 cup of milk of your choice – I used soy milk
• 1 egg white
• 2 tsp of baking powder
• 1 tsp of cinnamon (optional)
• 1-2 tsp of coconut oil for the pan

1. Blend the buckwheat in your blender till very fine – buckwheat flour!
2. Mix all your ingredients and whisk. Consistency shouldn’t matter too much
3. On a medium heat, oil your pan and scoop the batter
4. Flip when you see bubbles form all over the batter and the edges slightly peel away from the pan
5. Leave on the pan for another minute or two

Chia Jam

Makes about 250ml jar-full

• 1 cup of chia seeds
• 1/2 cup of goji berries
• 1/2 cup of blueberries
• just a dash of water

1. Blend the berries in a blender. Add water if it gets stuck but you want this to be a thick mixture
2. Add blended berries to chia seeds
3. Move to a jar and refridgerate for 1-2 hours
4. Voila!

Hidden Square Mile – London

There was a day in London when I decided to just walk around all day without a specific destination. I happened to be in the City of London/ the Square Mile area near St.Paul’s Cathedral, where there were predominantly business buildings and men in suits. This really wasn’t the kind of place where you would see tourists roaming around but that was the appeal.

The main streets were incredibly busy and probably what you would expect London to look like. I didn’t like this you see. Not just because I like to think I’m somewhat of an indie and this was too mainstream (even though walking around this district itself was pretty indie already, I thought), but also because I felt pretty awkward walking around in my casual clothes that was so painfully in contrast to all the business attire that surrounded me. This pushed me in the direction of the side streets.

I was surprised at how fast the atmosphere changed. It was quiet, peaceful and had a sense of relaxation that was absent from the main roads. The huge curvatures of some of these streets felt so grandiose when I stood in them, they took my breath away. The colours on the buildings also really drew me in. Vibrant, solid colours with defined edges, talk about colour-blocking. Every time I turned a corner, I looked forward to seeing a row of hanging flower pots that were not just here but everywhere in London.

Walking around aimlessly with a map is my ideal way of getting to know a city. Not a map on a phone but a real map, like the one you get from the tourist pamphlets. I like marking the places I’ve been to and ending up with a raggedy piece of paper at the end of my trip. It makes for a great, memory-filled souvenir that you can frame, which is so much better than a postcard of Queen Elisabeth or Harry Style’s face.